these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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