And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
