Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We got so high we made milksteak
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
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If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
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I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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