Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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