apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
