For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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