Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
