She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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