i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
