He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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