Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
