Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
