I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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