if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
