The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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