New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
