I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
