come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
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I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
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I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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