Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I am available for nakedness
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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