hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
