I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
