just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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