Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
