My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize