don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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