I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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