saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
