she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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