just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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