Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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