Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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