I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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