I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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