Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
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Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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