he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So apparently I’m into choking now
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