I want to walk on stilts...naked
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
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