So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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