is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
