He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
