This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
