I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
