Pregnant stripper...not hot.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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