i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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