Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I want to have your abortion
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
