if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
