Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize