I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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