I skipped work to stalk him.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...