Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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