OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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