Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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