Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
