butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
